You have put more joy in my heart
than they have when their grain and wine abound.
I close my day and the second full month since leaving my girl in a strange room. Her eyes danced in a mix of nerves and excitment. Mine were steely blue, unaware that tears would come a few days later.
They still come at the strangest times.
It's been two months in this new normal. It's been more difficult than I imagined, in ways different than I expected. I'm realizing how much of my identity - even, maybe especially, in our home - has been tied to being a mother. The daily demands of motherhood no longer clamor for my attention, a truth that saddens more than it relieves.
Treading this foreign territory frequently requires more balance than I've been able to muster, though I am learning. Learning to find joy, because there is much joy to be found.
Phone calls and text messages from my girl.
Library books that whisk me away to England, France, and New York.
Ella Fitzgerald's voice filling the air as I prepare dinner.
Board games and laughter.
Autumn's long-awaited arrival.
All shall be well. All shall be well. And all manner of things shall be well. - Julian of Norwich